Right hire, right now

What are you wearing? I’m really asking. Honest answers only, please; stick to the outer garments. For the sake of transparency, I’ll confess to sporting – at the time of writing – a bobbly, purple V-neck jumper and a pair of black strides that could probably walk themselves to a laundrette. My shirt is at least one size too big.

Call it young farmer chic circa 1978. Or call it contemporary tax style (with optional soup stains). Obviously no doyen of couture myself, I’ve often wondered if there are any painfully well-dressed tax people. I’ve not met any, but I bet they exist. I would never direct at the profession’s agents, advisers, lawyers and – yes – journalists the accusation originally thrown at a waiter by Zaphod Beeblebrox: ‘You guys are so unhip it's a wonder your bums don't fall off’.

There is, of course, an annual opportunity for we tax sorts to prove we can rock a sharp look when we must. It’s the Taxation Awards, which are once again open for entries.

The spectacular 2011 ceremony will take place at swinging London’s opulent Hilton hotel on fabulous Park Lane on the, er, lavish date of 26 May. That it’s gonna be a posh do is what I’m trying to get at.

And it’ll be upon us before we know it, what with Christmas and January’s self assessment deadline and the subsequent stress therapy and the Budget all being whacking great tacks in the road on the limousine ride to applause, adulation and alcohol.

What we need is a Taxation.co.uk guide to looking good for the prize-giving with as little time and effort spent as possible. Knowledge of the web: right here! Innate snazziness: help required.

I call on writer-columnist Harriet Walker for vital style-pointers (and promise to plug her forthcoming book, Less is More: Minimalism in Fashion). She starts with the fellas, and says Moss Bros is the easiest outlet for simple and reliable black-tie outfits for hire.

‘Moss Bros is known somewhat unfairly as being a bit naff, but the rental packages are actually really good value for money, flexible on timings and never fail to hit the spot: from white tie and tails for exclusive university balls, to something a bit more John Virgo for the Christmas party,’ says Harriet. (I told you she knows her stuff. Did I mention she has a tome due to be published?)

With these austere times in mind, Ms Walker adds: ‘Websites like Black Tie and eBay can be a little cheaper [to hire or buy] – from about £25 – but you don't get the chance to have a fitting or check out the wares in person, which can be tricky if you don't know your precise tuxedo size. And who does?’ 

Not me. (I didn’t know my own height until I was 38. Fact.) I know even less about women’s wear – which Harriet assures us is more exciting than men’s formal fashions. Now is the time to get shopping.

‘With most department stores bursting at the seams with sequins, marabou trim and taffeta-satin at this time of year, there’s plenty of choice [for purchases] – but hiring a dress can be a practical way of making a fashion statement without worrying about your bank statement.’

She’s still got that shrunken economy in mind, you see. (Saving on our wardrobes now will leave us with cash in the spring to spend on glossy coffee-table books.)

‘Many vintage stores, such as Rokit and Beyond Retro, offer a hire service where you just go in and pick out what takes your fancy; the price depends on how old and fragile the piece is. You'll probably need to leave a deposit.

‘Websites like Having a Ball Dress Hire offer a member service for which you sign up and pay a monthly premium to inexpensively rent full-length, dramatic dresses that it just doesn't make sense to spend money on buying if you're not walking a red carpet every other weekend,’ says Harriet, adding only that singer Lily Allen has opened her own vintage concept store, Lucy in Disguise.

It has an expensive and annoying website and offers ‘some of the most amazing vintage dresses and accessories in the world’ (the words of the shop’s PR, not our guest expert) for sale or hire.

No mention of shoes and accessories from Harriet, then. There’ll be plenty of time for that later, mind. Right now there are more important matters to consider – like the Taxation Awards category you’d most like to enter.

Categories: Comment & Analysis , eBay , Harriet Walker , Lily Allen , Moss Bros , Taxation Awards , Taxation Awards 2011