Having just moved my allegiance from The Times to The Sun as the paper of record for all things financial and subsequently for my scientific information, I find that the Daily Star is following suit – thus severely testing my loyalties. Their page 3 science correspondent today is ‘brainy Eva Wyrwal’ who is, like me (well not physically like me, obviously), also eagerly awaiting the results when the Large Hadron Collider is switched on. Eva is only 19 years old, compared to 21 year old Keeley in The Sun, and I can only surmise that it is this two-year age difference that perhaps explains her apparent lack of detailed knowledge as to how the ‘mysterious particles’ will be found using the multi-million pound machine. ‘Have they tried looking down the back of the sofa?’ she asks. No Eva, I somehow don't think they have, but perhaps that’s where I’ve put my tax return. If I find the rest of your clothes while I’m looking, I’ll let you know.