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A lot of working people these days go on leave, have you noticed? The humble tradition of holidays is not for them; they go on important-sounding leave. Like soldiers.
Perhaps there’s a surfeit of former army men and women striding stern-facedly through civvy street’s halls of industry – although that’s not too likely given that the cutbacks outlined in the coalition’s strategic defence and security review of last October haven’t had time to bite.
There must simply be lots of wannabe square-bashers in the private sector, workers who wish they were toting an SA80 A2 L85 rifle and had the ability to make their bed look really, really neat.
The frustrated service-people of tax will now be on patrol for some post-self assessment R&R (which, for the benefit of non-combatants, stands for rest and recuperation). Doubtlessly, they’ll have already signed up to a course of British Military Fitness. After all, what’s more relaxing after completing myriad tax returns than willingly being forced to exercise until you’re sick on your Reeboks?
For tax advisers who lack the ambition to be a well-oiled cog in Her Majesty’s military machine, there are other methods through which to unwind at some point between now and the fiscal frenzy that next month’s Budget will almost inevitably be. They’re sedate, and they’re online.
Sure, you can calculate top-slicing relief on life insurance gains, but you’ll impress no one until you can do it with at least one leg wrapped around your neck. Become unsettlingly bendy and achieve inner peace with free yoga and meditation lessons – and you won’t even have to leave your office.
Countryside vistas don’t paint themselves, you know. You owe it to this green and pleasant land to pull up an easel and learn how the many techniques – basic and advanced – of handling watercolours.
If you’d rather be covered in mud rather than just painting it, spend some time in your local spa – many of which provide the opportunity be treated as if you were food: be steamed like broccoli, wrapped in seaweed like sushi, or rubbed with salt a la a joint of pork.
Anyone else peckish all of a sudden? This correspondent is currently on a diet (again) because he all too well understands that cooking a feast can be fun and therapeutic. Lopping off a fingertip, however, is usually rather stressful. Learn how to competently handle a kitchen knife and do just about everything else culinary with the aid of the BBC’s food techniques guide.
If you’d rather get out and about, why not take in show? It’s a popular choice of Taxation’s editorial team. But theatre tickets can be dear – if you don’t know where to look. LastMinute.com and DiscountTheatre.com are just a couple of many sites that offer cut-price stubs for the biggest draws in London’s glittering West End.
For something cheaper and involving fresh air, Rufus the tax hound recommends that you walk the dog. Ain’t got one? No problem. The Dogs Trust is looking for owners to re-home hundreds of canines all over the UK.
You can’t get much further from tax and nearer to peace of mind than strolling through the park with your loyal mutt. But perhaps you crave something magical. Well, abracadabra: it’ll soon be Wizard Week at York’s enchanting National Railway Museum, which will be running affordable rides on the full-sized, steam-powered Hogwarts Express.
No matter it is you choose to do to unwind – even it’s nothing more than giving your desk a good tidying – do it to pop music. For your delight, the Taxation team has conspired to create a Spotify playlist. (You’ll need the free player for your Mac or PC.) If you want to know who picked what, click here. We hope it’ll rock your temporarily tax-less world.
